Failure CV

Oops!

We all fail from time to time. I think you learn more about someone from how they failed than from how they succeeded. Plus, you may find some of my bloopers entertaining. So, here are my major fiascos:

Avon Smart Helmet

In 2019, the college freshman was dreaming of starting his own company and making billions one day. So he combined his life passion (cycling) with his major (engineering) to create the Fortune 500 Most Unknown Startup: Avon Smart Helmet. He brought together a team of eight hopeful friends from Brown and Princeton to make this happen. They even made a nice souped-up website for it! They did manage to get Brown to write them a $2,000 check, so they could squander it on circuit boards, soldering irons, and Raspberry Pis (and a lobster dinner, but don’t tell anyone). Of course, the kid is still no billionaire today. But maybe one day it will happen.

A beautifully not-working helmet.

Smart Lower School Chicken Coop

In Spring 2018, the high school senior was getting too bored after submitting his college applications. So he devised a plan to outfit the Lower School Chicken Coop with internet-connected gadgets like live-stream cameras, thermometers, and remote door openers. He did make it all happen (it was mostly his more capable roommate). But the project came with no warranty! The water tank leaked, and the door jammed. Our sincere apologies to the poor hens still living there at the Cluckingham Palace. We wish them well.

Sirapop installing a solar panel. Presenting to primary school kids something that would soon break...

Swimming and Lacrosse

He proved to have zero talent for these two sports. Over the course of three years (2014–2017), he remained in Lane 1 (i.e., the slowest lane) and consistently did not make the JV roster. As for lacrosse, he never scored a single goal in the two (and a half) seasons that he played.

Duckweed Experiments and Biodiesel

Living true to his passion for renewable energy, Yiheng came up with a master plan for installing a campus biodiesel reactor, turning our deep-fryer oil into biodiesel and then pumping it into our lawn mowers. Of course, our school’s security staff was not a huge fan of putting 50 gallons of flammable liquid into a water heater along with a bunch of electrical components and lye. So the project got shut down before it got started. But Yiheng is resilient: he then devised a plan to harvest the annual duckweed bloom at our local ponds and turn it into bioethanol. Yum, let’s brew some duckweed beer. We might still have a few freezer bags full of duckweed, if you’d like to give it a try!

You know what? I’m excited to add more to this list as I go out there and embarrass myself again.